PDF Fighting for the Right [Illustrated]

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Editorial Reviews. Review. INDIEFAB Honorable Mention for Family & Relationships —Xavier Amador, PhD, author of I'm Right You”re Wrong, Now What? and featured therapist on NBC, Bravo, ABC, CNN and PBS Nova “ Research.
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It creatively delivers real solutions to serious problems in a package wrapped with pictures and laughter. Unlike other books on building and repairing relationships Dr.

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Brody gives us numerous visual illustrations. More than words you see creative cartoons that vividly bring to life the wise advice given. I highly recommend this book to anyone, or any couple, that wants to stop the fight! For many couples this results in fighting and arguing. The really good news is this: The book you hold in your hands will guide you to a new way of building a deep, loving relationship without all the yelling, shaming, and blaming. It is user-friendly, solid advice that will allow any couple willing to invest the time to make their lives whole again.

Her understanding of how couples irrationally attack each other under stress is eerily familiar. The illustrations and text, together, brilliantly demonstrate the various traps couples fall into and playfully educate about solutions that can transform a relationship. This book will save many marriages. Borchard, founder and host of ProjectBeyondBlue. Fighting may be a learning experience or a potential disaster. Great job, Michelle Brody, for guiding us on how to assess our behaviors, and for the step-by-step tools needed to enhance our communication skills, teaching us to see the whole picture, and offering tips on rebuilding the connection that we desire!

Michelle Brody, PhD, is an executive coach and clinical psychologist with over 20 years of professional experience as a practicing therapist and a specialist in resolving relational conflict. Her background also includes extensive experience in teaching, coaching, and scientific research. Brody is the founder of Coaching for Couples, an innovative practice for couples seeking time-efficient relationship change.

Product details File Size: The Experiment October 30, Publication Date: October 30, Sold by: Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention stop the fight highly recommend great book recommend this book must read couples book illustrations important relationship arguments helpful relationships brody fights ideas insights therapist communication enjoyable helped. Showing of 26 reviews. Top Reviews Most recent Top Reviews. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase.

I salute the author for doing cartoon characters which helps to make it more palatable to look at your issues.

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She also breaks down fights based upon feelings, and emotions and how to discuss and stop fighting and ultimately to not attack each other. That is the good part. My problem is with the sex fights. I am surprised that she did not get to the real problem. Now it is not really their fault. There is no "School for Sex" to teach him how to give his wife great sex. As a result she feels more and more used like a "used piece of meat. Yet you give her "mac and cheese sex" and wonder why she does not want to have sex with you? When she does she just goes through the motions.

Women want great sex too, they are just not getting it from their husband. The key to great sex is for men to learn how to give her great sex that lasts a minimum of a half hour to an hour with multiple orgasms. If you give her this kind of sex, the word NO disappears from her vocabulary. Lousy sex stains the whole relationship.

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Both partners are crabby and feel unloved and unappreciated, the man due to lack of frequency and the woman due to lack of foreplay romance and orgasms. This frustration leaks into every asset of the marriage and ordinary problems that would be ordinarily minor become reasons for fighting. When a man makes his wife feel cherished, and being made love to she willingly gives the sex that he wants because she is getting the sex that she wants. Finally, I wish to bring up something that the author does not address.

If there is a divorce and there are girls involved, you would not believe how many women have confided to me in my practice that they lost their virginity to mama's new boyfriend and were not just raped once but multiple times. Often the mother would deny the complaints from daughters refusing to believe them or would dissaude them from reporting because they needed the man's income. So take that as a pre-cautionary tale before you decide to get divorced. Start talking to each other instead of screaming at each other and resolve your differences peacefully to avoid divorce and putting your daughters at risk.

The reviewer is the author of the Kindle book entitled: This book is innovative and creatively written. It is engaging and humorous and allows couples to talk about a topic that's challenging to discuss -- their intimate relationship. Being a therapist, I have read it and highly recommend it to many clients. Unanimously they found it helpful and user-friendly. I heard clients express that they felt that the book was written directly for them. They strongly related to the arguments and was so thankful that they had practical resources that could effectively guide them.

I had one client that commented that being male and a visual learner, he found the book to be particularly helpful because it was wasn't written in an overly emotional or clinical way and really catered to him because he learns better by visually seeing things. I strongly recommend this book to ALL couples. I think about it as a couple handbook on working through arguments in a connected, compassion and caring way. The way arguments were meant to be worked through. ALL couples can relate to these common arguments. We have all been there! This is a great book! I gained insights and practical guidance I can apply both in my personal life and in my work as a healthcare chaplain, when working with couples and families.

While I learned many valuable ideas for dealing with marital tensions, the tools presented will help me with strategies for assisting families I visit with some of the dysfunctional dynamics plaguing their broader interactions. He had long taken pride in subverting the stereotype of the dumb jock. But 15 seasons of pro football had taken a toll. In the decade after his retirement, in , Plummer began to notice changes. Loud noises agitated him. So did bright lights. Eventually, he became anxious and depressed. He rarely slept more than an hour or two at a time. He relied on his wife, Corey, to remember details and manage his schedule.

When, in , he finally saw a clinical psychologist for an assessment of his mental health, Plummer struggled to answer basic questions. He believed his efforts were about to pay off. One fact seems exceedingly clear, though: The more hits you take to the head, the more dangerous it is.

Plummer estimates he suffered between 2, and 4, concussions, if you include the least severe, or Grade One. He knows some will scoff at this number but suggests they do the math, factoring in not only the hundreds of games he played but all the full-contact practices, scrimmages and preseason tussles. From an early age, Plummer—undersized, unexceptional by most physical measures—repeatedly beat the odds.

When the league folded, he got a tryout with the Chargers in By midseason he was their starting linebacker. Plummer had grown up lower-middle class. He recalls watching his father, a policeman, descend into agoraphobia. He was determined to live a different life, to turn fear to his advantage.

So he used it as fuel in the NFL, believing every game would be his last. A nutrition science major at Cal, he tracked every bite of food in a computer program, calibrating vitamins and complex carbs. When a trainer called him over after a collision, raising a hand to ask how many fingers Plummer saw, he would ignore the dizziness or nausea or tingling in his arm. There was no time to worry about the consequences. When the first reports detailing the dangers of concussions appeared in the s, Plummer scoffed at them, just as league officials did.

This is for those p on the other side of the ball. In retrospect, Plummer is embarrassed by how he acted: They were neuroscientists, academics and surgeons.

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A concussion is when you get knocked out, dude, end of story. Are you kidding me? Whatever the count, he shook them off, as was the practice in his day.

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Game days, he took Toradol, a potent anti-inflammatory that temporarily masked the pain. The rest of the week, he ingested Percodan and Indocin until they gave him ulcers, at which point he ramped up to Prednisone, a steroid that can trigger fits of aggressive behavior. In the end Plummer played in professional games 48 under Seifert in San Francisco, the ultimate vindication and earned a Super Bowl ring in the season.

Left hip replacement followed, then eight more post-career operations. He had always assumed his body would break down; that was price of playing. Always a great quote, he got a job as a 49ers radio analyst in Obsessive about staying in shape, he biked 10, miles a year, lifted and played backyard hoops with his two sons. Step by step, though, his world began to fray. In he and his first wife endured a rough divorce. He experienced bouts of anger and depression. Would anyone give a s?

In he married Corey Stein, who works in human resources and was a Chargers cheerleader. The next morning she would beg him to see a therapist. But each time, Gary waved her off. This stuff was just a phase. Plummer was at home on the morning of May 2, , riding a recumbent bike and watching TV, when the news report flashed on the screen: Chargers legend Junior Seau had been found dead in his home of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest.

The two quickly became workout partners, the veteran linebacker mentoring the rookie. Each had a prodigious work ethic, and they delighted in lighting up opposing running backs, in being the baddest dudes on the field. Gregarious, handsome and successful, Seau was the kind of guy who had hundreds of best friends. To most, his seemed a charmed life. But after retiring in January , Seau began his own descent: Plummer spent less time with his friend; when he did, Seau was surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Now, as Plummer sat on the bike, tears rolling down his cheeks, he thought back to the last time he had seen Seau, at a charity golf event a couple of weeks earlier.

Though smiling and slapping everyone on the back as usual, Seau seemed off. Plummer pulled him aside. Seau had wrapped a thick arm around his friend, looked him in the eye, and assured him he was. Plummer had bought it. Plummer felt a stir of emotions: Within minutes of the news breaking, old friends and teammates began to call. As a player, Plummer had been the guy who had your back, who gave it to you straight. Plummer tried to explain away the tragedy. Junior had so much else going on. The reporters called next. As always, Plummer was candid.

When Corey returned from work she found her husband still on the phone, pacing, doing one interview after another: San Francisco, San Diego, Boston. She knew the questions would never stop, and that Gary would keep answering them. Eventually, she walked over and yanked the phone out of his hand. No more interviews today, she said. Then, carrying two beers, she led him to their backyard to sit in silence.

The next morning she booked him a same-day therapist appointment; not to be assessed, but just to talk. It was hard at first. In , public awareness about the danger of concussions remained relatively limited. It would be another year until League of Denial came out a book in which Plummer appears, recounting the meeting with Steinberg , and three more until the movie Concussion. Who were they to whine? That guy had the world by the balls. What did he kill himself for?

Music, from Mozart to new age, offers stress relief for Plummer, one of his many tools for settling his mind. Plummer understood he needed to do something, but what? He continued therapy, if reluctantly.

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He tried yoga after hearing it eased anxiety. But squatting alongside fit women who effortlessly bent their bodies, he felt embarrassed and clumsy. Meditation proved equally frustrating. His efforts were scattershot. He bought a guitar that plugged into his computer, hoping to learn to play, but found his fingers—broken and dislocated so many times—fumbled at the task. Fortunately he had the financial resources to do so. Forever fearing his next season would be his last, Plummer had spent his NFL summers working in landscaping and construction with his brother, eventually learning enough to buy apartment buildings and condos and oversee their renovations.

Meanwhile, a class-action lawsuit against the NFL, filed by former players and family members, was proceeding. As the news spread, Plummer spoke to dozens of former teammates. Many felt deceived by a league that promoted violence without worrying about the repercussions. What are we supposed to do? Who are we supposed to call? In December , at the urging of his lawyer, John Lorentz, Plummer saw a clinical psychologist for a preemptive assessment and received that first, chilling diagnosis: He began having the inevitable discussions with Corey.

What happens when this progresses? Was she prepared to care for him? She had already gone part-time at her job in order to be around more. Plummer had increasing anxiety around social situations, plans and travel. Corey took to doing his packing and managing his schedule, only telling him about an event in the days just before and only making commitments that could be broken. At the same time Plummer built up his regimen. He stuck with the yoga, encouraged when his headache disappeared for a few minutes during savasana, the final resting pose.

He tailored his diet and workout schedule for brain health. After Young told him about music therapy, and how it provided stress relief, Plummer read up on it, learning how soldiers with PTSD had found succor through classical music. He listened to Mozart, Bach and the Swiss harpist Andreas Vollenweider, eventually installing Sonos speakers throughout his property.

Most of all, though, Plummer gardened. After the divorce, he had taken it up out of spite, to prove he could do a better job than his ex-wife. Now he tried to enjoy the process, tending to his sprawling backyard for four or more hours a day, weeding, planting and hand-watering the blossoms of nasturtium and bougainvillea, the clumps of brilliant pencil cacti, and towers of vegetables.

He felt that it helped, marginally at least. The way Plummer figured it, if he tried 20 tactics and each one helped just a little bit, well, that might add up to something larger, right? His dog, Teddy, an year-old Shiba Inu, sticks close. Plummer heads into his house, gait strong despite all the procedures. Though missing his familiar mullet and mustache, he still looks like a football player: