Manual An Asperger Marriage

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A Step roadmap for couples where one partner might be on the autism spectrum. Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is more common that we realize and there are increasing numbers of high-functioning adults who are self-identifying or being diagnosed.
Table of contents

I felt empowered and full of hope, which is a great feeling for anyone with such silly-looking thumbs. And Kristen was given a new perspective on who she was married to. She could see that I wasn't unwilling to tune into her needs or be more flexible, but rather that I was unable to do those things sufficiently, without her help.

There is a huge difference between being unwilling and being unable.

Self-Care Tips for Those Married to Someone with Asperger Syndrome

Kristen was essentially handed a user manual for her husband and who doesn't need one of those? She learned, for example, that she had to overtly express her feelings and needs if she wanted me to be responsive to them, and that I operated best during social events if I had a clear mental image of what to expect beforehand: Decaf, if you're wondering. Armed with new self-awareness and intense determination, I started looking every day for ways to manage the behaviors that had been wreaking havoc on our marriage.

I wasn't interested in a complete personality overhaul; I just wanted to become more in control of myself. So, I started keeping what I called a "journal of best practices," which was a collection of personal maxims that I wrote down and tried to practice everyday: Did I mention I'm a catch? Working together, guided by love and my best practices, Kristen and I were able to transform our failing marriage into the happy marriage we'd always wanted.

I learned how to manage my behaviors on my own and be a better husband. Occasionally I took things a little too far--holding routine performance reviews to measure my progress week to week, for instance--but for the most part, my Asperger zeal and single-minded determination served us rather well on our journey of reconstruction.

Best of all, we were able to renew our "bestfriendship," which is what I wanted more than anything. He lives in northern Illinois with his wife, Kristen, and their two children. Published January 17th by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about An Asperger Marriage , please sign up.

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Is this based on a true story? See 1 question about An Asperger Marriage…. Lists with This Book. Jan 04, Rainbow rated it did not like it. This book should be subtitled, "How to abuse your Asperger partner and make him think it is his fault.

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  6. She says that she knows that Chris hates loud noises, so what does she do? She makes loud noises.

    Coping With a Partner's Asperger's Syndrome - Autism Center - Everyday Health

    To me that sounds like domestic violence. Gisela's part of the book is made up of complaints about Chris. Chris does that, and I hate it. But I'm n This book should be subtitled, "How to abuse your Asperger partner and make him think it is his fault. But I'm not going to tell him that I hate it. He has to figure that out on his own. Chris's portion of the book shows that his self-esteem is a mess and he thinks he should be grateful that a wonderful, amazing woman like Gisela wants to have anything to do with him. I suggest that anyone who wants to have a healthy relationship with a person who has Asperger's should stay far away from this book.

    Jun 10, Laura Cushing rated it did not like it. This book should have been titled how NOT to have an Asperger marriage.

    What is it like to be married to a man with Asperger's syndrome?

    If this is what the typical marriage between an aspie and an nt is like, I am glad that both my husband and I are on the spectrum. The chapters include segments from both the husband and the wife. The husband's sections often talk about his low self-esteem and doubts in his competence as a husband and father-- and when you read the wife's sections, it's no wonder why.

    If someone threw things and shouted when they were angry, This book should have been titled how NOT to have an Asperger marriage. If someone threw things and shouted when they were angry, took their ex-husband along on vacation, and didn't allow you to discipline the children you were raising, posted notes all over your computer dictating things she thought you should say and not say -- you'd have poor self-esteem too.

    Married to an Asphole

    Never mind the aspergers. This is horrible book and should be read by no one. There is no practical advice you can, or should take, that applies to your own situation other than don't marry someone like this woman. Jan 21, Mandy rated it it was ok Shelves: This book is about a particular marriage where the man has since the marriage been diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome.

    I found the book interesting in part.


    The couple seemed honest and open, but they did not answer several of the questions that I would have liked to ask. There are plenty of men about who are selfish, rude etc, so I wondered how would you know when a man you are with is being rude because he feels like being rude, or is being rude because he cannot help it due to his AS? Al This book is about a particular marriage where the man has since the marriage been diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome. Also, there was a lot of talk about the gifts of AS, but the talk never extended to describing them, which raither frustrated me.

    I would have liked more information about Aspergers itself. What exactly is it? Okay, it is a neurological condition, but I don't entirely understand what that means. I was also lost by the chapter that went through the medical scientific terms of dignosis, and where Chris and Gisela commented on how Chris was affected in those areas. I would have liked a translation of what the medical jargon meant!

    One reason I am buying and reading books about Aspergers is to discover more, so the presumption that I have quite a sophisticated understanding of the condition and it's effects is annoying. Mar 23, Sasha Boersma rated it did not like it Shelves: Not very deep, and very surface. Although, I did I read this towards the end of my phase of devouring all resources about Aspergers. It didn't share anything new that I was looking for. The writing style was also not as engaging so honestly, I really only skimmed the book.

    Much more humourous and less clinical-feeling.